Photo Update

Well, here I am at 125 pounds lost as of 9/26/10.  My one year surgiversary has passed and it got me thinking if I could go back in time and not do the surgery, would I do it?  My answer is this:  If I knew what I know now, I wouldn’t have the surgery.  It was a lot to go through to lose only  50 pounds a year and to have my every day plagued with pain because I just can’t take the medications that would help me the most with this pouch.  I wouldn’t do it again, because at the moment I was realizing my dream of finally going to a top rated cosmetology school and not only getting my license, but also to obtain the knowledge so that I could have my own salon, was taken from me due to the increased pain in my body without my pre-surgery meds.

RNY is a great surgery and is a wonderful tool for people.  For me though, it hasn’t been and that’s something that I am just now coming to grips with.  As I sit here typing this, I haven’t lost a pound since March (ironically, the same month I had surgery on both of my knees).  I am dreading my next check up, because I can’t stand one of my surgeons nurse who assumes that everyone who doesn’t experience big losses is doing something wrong.  I have had to put it off just so that my significant other can come with me to the appointment to back me up.

Each of us goes through a different journey both positive and negative.  The positive for me is that I have lost 50 more pounds to add to the 75 I lost before surgery.  I can actually walk in to a regular plus size store and buy clothes off the rack instead of ordering from catalogs and internet sites that sell super plus sizes.  Those things are great, but just want my life back and that is the next path on my journey.

Here are some updated pics.

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Angry Pouch- Damn you Ethel!

First of all, yes, my pouch has a name.  If a man can name his junk, I can name my pouch.

I woke up with a pouch ache for no apparent reason and I thought I would just ignore it.  NEVER IGNORE AN ANGRY POUCH!  If your pouch is already flipping you the bird, do not attempt to eat regular food.  Stick to protein shakes until he or she calms down.  Do not attempt what I did today despite knowing better…PASTA.  Despite buying the rich in protein low carb kind (which I can eat on normal days), it made Ethel angry…VERY angry…You will not like Ethel when she is angry.  I felt like I was having a heart attack and had to lay on my stomach like a little kid with a tummy ache.  Then the vomit fairy decided she would just hang out and let me feel the extreme nausea without the benefit of ridding myself of my pasta demon.  Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do but wait it out.  So, do as I say not as I do…take care of your angry pouch and treat him or her delicately.

Do You see What I See?

One thing that is completely weird for me is when people I haven’t seen in a while are shocked at my weight loss and offer complements.  Why is it weird?  It’s weird because I don’t see myself as others do.  My brain hasn’t caught up with my body.  I still see myself like I was 125 pounds ago.  I am the one who sees myself naked in the mirror and thinks my body looked better when I was fatter.   Now, I see the melted mess that my excess weight did to my body.  Am I happy about the weight loss?  You bet your ass I am, but I seriously hate what my body is becoming and the pain and financial caca I will have to go through in order to reconstruct my body.   I am working on accepting my body as it is right now.  It’s baby steps for me on this issue, but I know I will get there one day soon.

Where In the World has The Incredible Shrinking Fattie Been?

Well, hello there.  I can’t believe it’s been about six months since I have posted.  Where have I been? I’ve been wallowing in self pity and dealing with some health problems as well as falling in to old habits as a result.

For several years, I have struggled with unexplained  and explained pain, migraines, stomach issues, depression, and anxiety.  After my gastric bypass surgery, things got worse for me physically.  Then, after my knee surgery, things got way worse.   My doctor initially thought I had Lupus, which thank God I don’t have.  Then she tested me for Rheumatoid Arthritis, thyroid, and just about any other thing she could think of testing in those nine tubes of blood she took out of me.  Turns out I had been struggling with Fibromyalgia.  While I am grateful I don’t have anything that will kill me, there are times when the pain is so bad I almost feel like I’m going to die.  She went over my medical records dating back nine years and was shocked to see that none of my other doctors caught any of my symptoms and complaints and thought to investigate further.

What does this mean for my weight loss?  THE MOTHER OF ALL STALLS!  My body has been holding on to weight like an angry old lady holds on to her bingo dobbers.  Not gonna let it go!

I lost 75 pounds prior to my gastric bypass (RNY) surgery and a year later?  I’ve only lost 50 pounds…50…that’s it.  No mas.  For someone who was told I would “definitely lose at least 100 pounds” in my first year, that’s just frustrating as hell.  My lack of mobility certainly is a major contributing factor to this, but I must admit to another contributing factor…eating.

Since I found out that I don’t dump on anything that I put on a plate, I will have to admit in indulging a bit too much in junk and not journaling my food so that I can see what I’ve been eating and get a reality check.  I know that it’s okay in moderation, but truthfully I’ve been eating it 1/2 cup at a time.  Which brings me to another old nasty habit I had in control for the first six months of my surgery…grazing.

Oh how I love to graze.  Like a little goat who is so unsuspecting and cute .  You can’t believe this sweet little goat could eat just about everything practically all day.  You may be asking yourself, “Isn’t her new stomach the size of an egg?”  Why, yes, yes it is.  However, if you only eat 1/2 cup at a time and when you are not hungry, you can cheat that egg sized pouch of a stomach.  Even when staying within my calorie bank the majority of the time, most of it has been total crap lacking in protein which is what my body needs to lose the weight.  Remember in the second Austin Powers movie when Fat Bastard said, “carbs are the enemy?”  Well, it’s true folks.

Carbs glorious carbs…oh how I love to eat them.  However, when you have RNY, they are truly an enemy and a stumbling block to success.  My body needs at minimum 80 grams of protein a day and I wasn’t hitting that mark eating the way I was.   Sure, I stayed within my calorie range, but my body had little protein to access for fat burning.  High protein diets turn your body in to a fat burning machine, because your body will burn carbs first before burning protein for fat loss.  So, I may have been diligent about calorie counting, but I was just feeding my body carbs.  Not all calories are created equal and this is why I’ve been experiencing the mother of all stalls.

There is good news though.  In the past two weeks, I have been back on program:  journaling my food, increasing my water intake (water helps burn fat), making sure I get a minimum of 80 grams of protein and a minimum of 45 grams of good healthy carbs (45 is the bare minimum your body needs to function.  So, not all carbs are bad.), taking all of my vitamins and supplements, moving at least 30 minutes a day (just because my mobility is restricted doesn’t mean I can sit on my big ol’ bootie all day), and now going back to my blog in hopes that I will not only make myself accountable, but help others through tracking my journey.

So, this is the official relaunch of The Incredible Shrinking Fattie’s blog.  I hope that through it I will be able to help you in some way.  I will be posting at least once a week and I hope you come back.  Thanks dear readers for inspiring me to return.

Picture Credits

Angry Lady:  http://www.sodahead.com/united-states/ben-stein-the-unemployed-are-people-with-unpleasant-personalitieswho-do-not-know-how-to-do-a-day/question-1115461/?page=5&link=ibaf&imgurl=http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_-mVKZRDPh2E/RsxgwVTgOKI/AAAAAAAAACY/BO8N2vdVcPU/s320/angry-old-lady-755895.jpg&q=old%2Bmother%2Bangry

Goat:  http://www.enst.umd.edu/News/Jennifer/index.cfm

Carb monster:  http://gofitcoachro.blogspot.com/2008/12/carbs-friend-or-foe.html